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The Courage to Stop

Did you ever take a day just for yourself?

As a recovering type-A, I find it really hard to let go. Whenever possible, I squeeze in another hour of work to go down my ever-growing to-do list.

So it was a really fitting coincidence that our training in Rumah SukkhaCitta Tegal Kertha would extend to Nyepi, the lunar (Saka) new year here in Bali yesterday.

A day where the entire island shuts off. Welcoming the new year in complete silence, with no cell reception, internet, or lights. Literally everything is closed, even the airport.

Eliminating all the things that normally distract us, to create space for self-reflection.

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Initially, I felt like a fish out of water, out of control. I wondered whether I could just be ‘gone’ like that. What if something happened and I couldn’t be contacted? What if I missed an important call? What if our Ibus needed something from me?

The list of what-ifs just kept growing and began to make me dizzy.

But after a while, I managed to quiet down a little. I tried out the hammock in the yard, read my book for a while and finally took some time to check in with myself and how I was doing.

Without the usual distractions, I quickly felt just how tired I was.

From pushing myself every day – from constantly running on adrenaline, feeling the pressure to do it all, being pulled into all kinds of directions. It was a humbling realization.

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ANGKASA is a reminder of your North Star, of finding your inner purpose within that has always guided you.


But then, when it got dark, we were presented with the most amazing night sky. I could see the stars like I had never seen them before.

Stars that had always been there. I had just been blind to them, distracted by all the artificial light and busyness around us.

It was then and there that I reset my intention.

To focus on what was the most essential – to let go more and to trust that the right things would happen at the right time. That I was being guided.

Nyepi made me realize that time for ourselves is never wasted. It’s essential to our health and sanity. It allows us to reconnect with what’s most important and rediscover our North star.

When was the last time you took a day for yourself? Why not this upcoming weekend ;)

Always here rooting for you,

D

nyepi bali sukkhacitta